The final leg: the time has come

Reality hit today, hard. The last leg is here. The difficult part of the path.

The PICC line was placed in my upper arm today, that runs a line to my heart. It has three lumens for administering chemo and other fluids, medication as well as drawing labs when needed.

PICC

Tonight is my last outpatient day until I'm discharged for home. My future includes copious amounts of chemo (6 days), followed by recovery time (10 days) while we wait for my bone marrow to recover (a.k.a blood level come back into safe ranges).

The hair is officially shaved. The head covers have come out.














Nick and I thought it was fitting to spend my last night of freedom eating on an outdoor patio or terrace. The weather was stunning today, so we did just that. The Peninsula Hotel has a restaurant on a terrace that is beautiful.

Right now, nerves are all over the place. I cry, I laugh, I'm excited, I'm scared.
I'm packed and ready to show up at 7:30am.

My brother, with his unyielding support, is here, keeping all the ducks in a row. I'd like to publicly announce that he is the raddest person - as a brother, husband, father and friend. He really is. I'm so lucky to be his baby sister. We video chatted with his kids to show them bald auntie. Can't wait to be running around with them in the future.

As I type this the tears just flow. I cant explain the combination of gratitude, hope, anxiety and love that just keeps ebbing and flowing.

I could not have gotten through the first phase without Chad, Amy, Dana and Ola. My brother Nick, my parents and Jodie will get me through the final phase--with the help of Dr. Burt and his amazing team. My little brother then starts the "at home" recovery support.

#somuchloveinmylife #extrabondingtime  #plantopayitforward

I hope to make as many updates as possible wile inpatient. It will all depend on how I feel. Its a roller coaster the whole way, so I will try to make typing time on the "weeee!" days.

Final thoughts for today: forgive the language.
I have been softened and moved by the kindness poured my way. Far more sensitive and open-armed in general these days. I have cried more the last 2 months than I had in three years.. It has also brought up intolerance of "victim" mentality.  Fight, research, ask for help, advocate for yourself, no matter the situation. I am indeed different than I was 18 mo. ago, but in a good way.

In a strange way, I have CIDP to thank for my personal growth. I, however, will never respect or miss CIDP. Trust me.